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Why are frogs always so happy?
Because they just eat whatever bugs them.
What goes "ooo, oooooo, oooo?"
A cow with no lips.
What kind of music scares balloons?
Pop music.
One tectonic plate bumped into another and said...
"Sorry, my fault."
Why did the orange stop halfway across the road?
Because it ran out of juice!
My friend David lost his ID.
Now we just call him Dave.
What is a plumber's favorite shoes?
Clogs
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
Because they lac-toes.....come on, that was legendairy.
What do you call a blind dinosaur?
A doyouthinkhesaurus?
Have you hear the rumor about butter?
Nevermind, I shouldn't spread it.
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work
What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?
A synonym roll
What do you call a cow with a twitch?
Beef jerky
If you're ever attacked by a gang of clowns...
go for the juggler.
2 fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says...
"How do you drive this thing?!"
I ate 4 cans of alphabet soup...
and just had the largest vowel movement ever.
You can't run through a campground...
You can only ran because it's past tents
What is a golf club's favorite type of music?
Swing
A Mexican magician tells the crowd he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno!......Dos!!!"
The poof! He was gone without a tres.
Why was the mama firefly unhappy?
Because her kids weren't very bright.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato
I refused to believe that my road worker father was stealing from his job, but when I got home...
all the signs were there.
Is your refrigerator running?
Good, mine too! I will see you at the refrigerator race tomorrow!
When I found out my toaster wasn't waterproof...
I was shocked!
Say, Ernie, would you like some ice cream?
Sure Burt!
At an ATM, this lady asked me to help her check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
A man got hit in the head with a can of coke...
but he was alright because it was a soft drink.
Whiteboards....
They are remarkable


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