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What did one hat say to the other?: "You stay here..."
I’ll go on ahead.
I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia; she whispered
“They’re right behind you.”
Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
Why was the music note arrested?
It got in treble.
What did one wall say to the other?
“I’ll meet you at the corner.”
Why did the student bring a ladder to school?
To go to high school.
How do you catch a school of fish?
With bookworms.
Why did the photo go to jail?
It was framed.
Why did the cookie go to the nurse?
Because it felt crummy.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
It was two-tired.
What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?
Sofishticated.
What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
A satisfactory.
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
Sneakers.
Why did the tomato blush?
Because it saw the salad dressing.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Nothing gets under their skin.
How do you organize a space party?
You planet.
Why did the student eat his homework?
Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese.
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.
What did the traffic light say to the car?
“Don’t look! I’m changing!”
Why can’t you trust atoms?
They make up everything.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
“Supplies!”
Why did the math book look sad?
It had too many problems.
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together.
Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
They’d crack each other up.
What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, they just waved.
Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
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