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Why did the old man fall in the well?
Because he couldn't see that well!
What did the coffee report to the police?
A mugging.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
Why did the dad sell my vacuum cleaner?
It was just gathering dust!
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
I'm on a seafood diet.
I see food and I eat it.
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
Sneakers!
This graveyard looks overcrowded.
People must be dying to get in.
Why can't a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two tired.
Did you hear the rumor about butter?
Well, I'm not going to spread it!
Why don't eggs tell jokes?
They'd crack each other up.
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