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What did the duck say when waiter gave him the check?
Put it on my bill
How can you tell when a cat is happy?
When it's feline fine.
Why are bananas so good?
They've got appeal.
What did one potato say to the other?
I've got my fries on you.
How did the barber win the race?
He knew a shortcut.
Why don't pirates know the alphabet?
Because they keep getting lost at C.
Why couldn't the bike stand up?
It was two-tired.
Why was six nervous?
Because seven eight nine.
Know any good rope jokes?
I'm a frayed knot.
Why doesn’t the sun go to college?
Because it has a million degrees!
What do you use to cut a Roman Emperor's hair?
Ceasers
Why was Dumbo sad?
He felt irrelephant
What do you call an alligator with a vest?
An investigator
What kind of undies do clouds wear?
Thunderwear
Why did the barber win the race?
Because it took a short cut.
What did the triangle say to the circle?
You're pointless.
Can February March?
No but April May.
Why can't a leopard hide?
Because it's always spotted.
What's easy to get into but hard to get out of?
Trouble.
What kinds of emotions do noses feel?
Nostalgia
What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut?
Barbecue
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