Unemployment is a difficult subject for me to write about as I have never been unemployed. Apart from when I was 18 and living with my parents.....
Inappropriate. Pointless personal information.
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15
When there is so much sickening poverty in the world, it's incredibly unfair that some people live in luxury.
Inappropriate. Too emotional (sickening poverty) too informalย (super angry)
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15
There is considerably more to academic research than looking up facts on the internet.
Appropriate
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15
Many people would agree that being a parent can be mundane, stressful and challenging at times. Nevertheless, I believe the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.ย
Appropriate
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15
All things considered, I believe that English is far easier to learn than German.
Appropriate
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15
In general, therefore, we can conclude that, on the whole, television has usually has an overall positive impact.
Inappropriate. Too many irrelevantย phrases and commas.
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15
Many of my friends go to the gym or workout quite frequently.
Inappropriate. Too personal. refer to society, not your friends.
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15
It is absolutely crazy that governments can't solve even the tiniest of problems.
Inappropriate. 'crazy and tiniest' not formal language. Don't write 'can't' - no contractions.
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seesaw
Swap points!
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shark
Other team loses 20 points!
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fairy
Take points!
5
10
15
20
25
lifesaver
Give 25 points!
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15
Tourism is a big industry. In some ways that is good. In other ways that is bad.
Inappropriate. Too simple
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15
To dismiss popular music as nothing more than light entertainment is to ignore the role it plays in millions of peoples' lives.
Appropriate
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seesaw
Swap points!
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fairy
Take points!
5
10
15
20
25
shark
Other team loses 25 points!
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banana
Go to last place!
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15
I am going to explain my deep and personal thoughts on this topic and then I shall give you a conclusion.ย
Inappropriate styleย and irrelevant information.ย
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15
Instead of using cars, it is much much better to use public transport such as buses, trams, trains, ferries, trolleybuses and so on.
Inappropriate. 'much much better' and 'so on' are not formal. The list is redundant information.ย
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baam
Lose 10 points!
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magnet
Take 25 points!
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rocket
Go to first place!
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banana
Go to last place!
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15
I would love to study abroad, but unfortunately, the costs are too high for me.ย