A list of clothes your boss expects you to wear, which somehow always includes “smart” shoes and never pajamas.
Dress code
The smallest amount of money the law says your boss can pay you — just enough to buy instant noodles and dream of vacation.
Minimum salary
A pyramid where the people at the top have big chairs, the people in the middle have meetings, and the people at the bottom do all the work.
Company hierarchy
A magical place where you hear everyone’s phone calls, keyboard typing, and loud chewing — but somehow still feel lonely.
Open-plan office
A day full of smiling HR people, awkward icebreakers, and 237 PowerPoint slides about company values you’ll forget tomorrow
Induction programme
A special time when you stop working to learn how to work — usually involves a lot of coffee and pretending to take notes.
Training
A person who agrees to learn from someone older and wiser... or at least someone with more coffee mugs and office plants.
Mentee
The superpower of knowing when your coworker is angry before they throw their stapler at you.
Emotional intelligence
That friendly feeling when your colleague laughs at your joke — even the bad ones.
Rapport
The professional way of spying on other companies to make yours look just as cool.
Benchmarking
When the economy decides to take a long, sad vacation — and takes your job with it.
Recession
When banks suddenly stop lending money, and everyone else suddenly stops smiling.
Credit crunch
A giant loan for your dream house that takes 30 years, a steady job, and your soul to pay off.
Mortgage
Money the bank gives you so you can feel rich for one day and anxious for five years.
Loan
A financial restart button — usually after some very bad shopping decisions.
Bankruptcy
To help a friend (or a company) who made a money mess — usually with a big sigh and your wallet.
Bail someone out
