" Sulking like schoolbooks", presents that the two men are disgruntled and moody.
presents (the)...............as..................
15
The uncomfortable atmosphere is further exemplified when the quote " Hunched and withdrawn" is used, conveying a moody and fed up atmosphere.
quote / fed up only with people/ how???(physical withdrawl)
20
"Sulking like schoolboys", illustrates the colleagues. It evokes a sense of immaturity in the men as 'school boys' connotes that the fight was petty and their behaviour childlike.
Good answer
15
Further amplifying the tension between them, " cantankerous crustaceans" compares the two men to shellfish, using the hard outer shell to represent their lack of emotion and being ready to snap (their claws) at a moments notice.
Good
25
The hare's movement is demonstrated by "Giddy with summer", describing the hare as being light-headed with excitement due to the oncoming of summer as if it were a child on a sugar rush - tipsy, innocent and unable to control its movements.
Good
20
The general effect of the description of the atmosphere in the car is that it is tens, overwhelming and uneasy.
unnecessarily wordy
15
15
" as if a spring had snapped" depicts the accident was sudden and unplanned. This emphasizes the fear of the hare as its leg was broke. 'snapped' evokes a feeling of sympathy as the hare's leg broke in an instant
AR of points / needs more explaining as explicit meaning isn't clear
15
"Sulking like school boys" conveys that they are being childish and immature.
Tautology: childish and immature
15
'Hunch' indicates they are making themselves physically smaller and more closed off to each other as if they're hiding, conjuring the image of them retreating into their metaphorical shells which is reiterated by the phrase ' cantankerous c
Good
15
In contrast to the occupants of the car, the hare is described to be energetic and happy.
Good
15
Tension and silence fill the atmosphere in the car.
