Without having any safety equipment, I could have drown which could have been potentially fatal if I did meet a crocodile.
EBI: word choice : drowned
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lifesaver
Give 25 points!
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fairy
Take points!
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25
shark
Other team loses 15 points!
Okay!
baam
Lose 25 points!
Oops!
trap
No points!
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gift
Win 10 points!
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fairy
Take points!
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25
banana
Go to last place!
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15
Apart from this, my tour guide: Jack was unpromising and unconvincing, providing unhelpful advice using words such as โrarelyโ or โunlikelyโ.
EBI: wrong use of 'Apart from' and incorrect HLP and WW: unpromising
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20
I was terrified and pissed off at the same time due to the fact that I was not been told I need insect repellent and also the insufficient amount of safety equipments. For example, a life-jacket and a torch.
EBI: word choice too informal / tenses/ equipment (UC)
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heart
Other team wins 20 points!
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star
Double points!
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gift
Win 20 points!
Okay!
banana
Go to last place!
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15
First and foremost, the overall safety of the expedition must be addressed; with an unstable canoe and lack of any basic safety gear such as life-jacket, I was fearful of my every move especially knowing the dangers that lurked below.
WWW: concision and cohesion with good details
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15
Of the myriad of issues I encountered on your companyโs night-time expedition, safety infringements are naturally of the greatest concern.
WWW: great voice and high-level vocabulary
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15
Regards, Bob
EBI: use your full name (surname) when signing off a formal email
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15
Needless to say, being only equipped with a torch, broom and ball of twine while searching for a dangerous predator in the dead of night in the wild, is not only highly irresponsible but also incredibly negligent of safety protocols.