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Funny Riddles

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Why did the man go to bed?
Because the bed can't come to him.
What does a cat have that no other animal has?
A monkey, a squirrel, and a bird are racing to the top of a coconut tree. Who will get the banana first, the monkey, the squirrel, or the bird?
They won't get a banana out of a coconut tree!
What has ten letters and starts with gas?
An automobile.
A man purchased a $20,000 car but he didn’t have to pay a penny. How did he do it?
He didn’t have to pay a penny, he had to pay $20,000
A bus driver goes the wrong way on a one way street. He passes the cops but they don’t stop him. Why?
He was walking.
When do you go at red and stop at green?
When you are eating a watermelon.
Why is the letter T like an island?
Because it's in the middle of water.
How do you make the number one disappear by adding to it?
Add the letter 'G' and it becomes Gone.
Forward I am heavy, but backward I am not. What am I?
Forward I am ton, backwards I am not.
Before Mountain Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?
Mountain Everest. It just wasn’t discovered yet.
Seven ladies tried to fit under a small umbrella, none of them got wet. How did they do it?
It wasn't raining!
What kind of a key opens a banana?
A monkey.
What did the apple say to the banana?
Nothing! Apples don't talk.
What spends all the time on the floor but never gets dirty?
Your shadow.
In what glasses shouldn’t you pour apple juice?
The already full ones.