Why can’t a woman living in Europe be buried in Canada?
A living woman cannot be buried anywhere.
What can you catch but not throw?
cold
What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is all the time?
A widow
Is it legal for a man to marry his widow's sister?
No, because he's dead
A box without hinges, key, or lid yet golden treasure inside is hid. What is it?
an egg
How was it possible that every single person in an airplane crash died, but two people survived?
The two survivors were married.
Of you sit a cup on the table facing south while you are on the north side of the table, on which side is the cup’s handle?
No matter which way the cup is turned, the handle is always on the outside.
Is always in front of you but cannot be seen?
future
What common English verb becomes its own past tense by rearranging its letters?
eat - ate
First you see me in the grass dressed in yellow gay; next I am in dainty white, then I fly away. What am I?
a dandelion
Large as a mountain, small as a pea, endlessly swimming in a waterless sea. What can that be?
an asteriod
Is it correct to say "the yolk of eggs is white" or "the yolk of eggs are white"?
Neither, the yolk of eggs is yellow.
What stinks when living and smells good when dead?
bacon
George walked for thirty minutes in the pouring rain without getting a single hair on his head wet. He didn't have a hat or an umbrella and his coat had no hood. How did he do that?
He is bald
If a rooster lays an egg on the exact peak of a barn, which side does it fall?
Roosters don't lay eggs.
If an electric train is moving north at 100mph and a wind is blowing to the west at 10mph, which way does the smoke blow?
An electric train has no smoke.
What has roots as nobody sees, Is taller than trees, Up, up it goes, And yet never grows?
a mountain
What word would you use to describe a man who does not have all his fingers on one hand?
Normal, because people usually have half their fingers on one hand.
If two's a company, and three's a crowd, what are four and five?
9
All about the house, with his lady he dances. Yet he always works, and never romances.
a broom
Can run but never walks, Has a mouth and never talks, Has a head but never weeps, Has a bed but never sleeps.
a river
If you have a cube, each edge two inches long, how many total square inches are there among all eight sides?
cubes has six sides only
What is in seasons, seconds, centuries, and minutes, but not in decades, years, or days?
Letter "n"
If you spell “sit in the tub” s-o-a-k, and you spell “a funny story” j-o-k-e, how do you spell “the white of an egg”?
"a-l-b-u-m-e-n" or "e-g-g w-h-i-t-e"
Some months have 31 days, others have 30 days, but how many have 28 days?
All of them.
A cowboy rides into town on Friday. He stays three days, then rides out of town on Friday. How?
The horse's name is Friday
If you divide 30 by half and add ten, what do you get?
Half is 0.5. If you divide 30 by (not IN) 0.5, you get 60. Add ten and you have 70. (to divide IN = in equal parts)
If you have a bowl with six apples and you take away four, how many do you have?
The 4 you took away.
My life can be measured in hours, I serve by being devoured. Thin, I am quick. Fat, I am slow. Wind is my foe.
a candle
It occurs once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in an hour.
letter "m"
What letter comes next: O T T F F S S ?
E - eight
Why are movie stars considered cool?
Because they have so many fans.
What breaks but never falls?
Dawn
How did the boy kick his soccer ball ten feet, and then have it come back to him on its own?
He kicked it up.
There are eight men sitting on a couch. Three legs break and six men leave. How many legs are remaining?
Five: the legs of the two remaining men (4) and the remaining couch leg.
If a plane crashes on the border between the United States and Canada, where do they bury the survivors?
Survivors are not buried.
If you had only one match and entered a dark room containing an oil lamp, some kindling wood, and a newspaper, which would you light first?
The match.
If seven people meet each other and each shakes hands only once with each of the others, how many handshakes will there have been?
21
If it takes eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men?
No time, because the wall is already built.
Walk on the living, they don't even mumble. Walk on the dead, they mutter and grumble.
leaves
What falls but never breaks?
dusk
What is the maximum number of times a single page of a newspaper can be folded in half by hand?
Only once, because after that you will be folding it into quarters, eighths, etc.
What is the one thing that all wise people, regardless of their religion or politics, agree is between "heaven" and "earth"? What is it?
The word "and"
When you have me, you immediately feel like sharing me. But, if you do share me, you do not have me.
a secret
Who is bigger: Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, or their baby?
The baby, since he is a little Bigger.
The pearls of night, stolen in clearest light of day.
dew
A man has a fox, a chicken, and a sack of grain. How can he cross the river, so fox, a chicken, and a sack of grain remained alive?