Size of the Problem
You lost a game you were playing with friends. What size is the problem? Should I cry and scream?
Small. No, that would be unexpected.
Your best friend moved far away. What size is the problem?
Medium. I might need help to deal with my feelings.
Your mom lost her job. What size is the problem? Is it ok to be scared and confused?
Big. Yes, it's expected to be scared and confused.