If Columbus had a pet with him on the ship, what kind of goofy pet do you think it would be, and why?

When he finally saw land, Columbus was so happy. If you saw land after a long trip, what totally non-historic thing would you yell out first? (Like, "Finally, a working Wi-Fi signal!")

Sailors on his trip had to go a long time without fresh water. If they had to trade their gold for one modern drink, what would they fight over?

If Columbus was looking for India but ended up in the Caribbean, was he the first person in history to get a huge map wrong?

The ships smelled really bad after months at sea. What would be the modern, teenage way to complain about the smell on social media?

Columbus's ship was named the Santa Maria. If he sailed today, what would his boat's cringe-worthy social media handle be? (@OceanBlueSailor? #IndiesOrBust?)

Columbus's ships were the Niña, the Pinta, and the Santa María. If you had to name a ship after your favorite snack, what would the ship be called? (The Pizza Roll? The Spicy Chip?)

If King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella of Spain could send Columbus a text message on his trip, what is the funniest thing they would text him?

Sailors on Columbus's ships had to eat hard biscuits. What would be the silliest modern food item they would complain about not having?