My son got a 9 in his exam, but I think he can always do better.

There are only two results in life – success and failure. Failure is not an option for me!

My friends were annoyed with me yesterday because I didn’t show up at the restaurant on time, and we lost our reservation.

I tend not to take risks, just in case something goes wrong.

My hairdresser cancelled my appointment because her dog just died – what kind of excuse is that?!

When I’m finished drinking my Coca Cola I just throw the can on the floor. Someone else will pick it up.

My best friend lost his job yesterday so I bought him dinner and gave him a shoulder to cry on.

I was supposed to be looking after my friend’s baby but really needed a cigarette, so I left her alone for 20 minutes. Is there anything wrong with that?

I can’t decide where to go on holiday… hiking in the Himalayas, or scuba diving in Australia?

I have to win. I have to beat everybody!

I bought my friend a really nice, personal gift for her birthday.

I love singing, but I’m probably not good enough to make a career out of it.