I guess I should buy my 12-year-old daughter an iPhone. Everyone at her new school has one and I want her to fit in with the other kids

There is definitely a link between autism and the vaccines given to toddlers. I know this because a Wikipedia entry mentioned numerous studies that found this to be true:

Medical expenses for the elderly continue to rise. If you don’t buy long-term health care insurance now, you probably won’t be able to qualify once you’re older. Sure, it's expensive, but you don't want to go bankrupt, do you?

Micheal: I think we should put more money into schools. Quality public education is so important. Jamie: So you’re saying we should cut military spending and spend it instead on more spiral notebooks and crayons? Then the terrorists win.

We think this new MallTime game app will be a success because all little girls like shopping:

If you don’t say the Pledge of Allegiance, then you must be a traitor

I know you don’t like the kitty-cat sweater that Grandma knitted for you, but she worked so hard on it and it will make her happy to see you wear it in the family holiday photo

Global chocolate consumption is highest in Switzerland, yet people there are among the trimmest in the industrialized world. Therefore, it’s reasonable to conclude that chocolate helps keep your weight down:

My grandmother ate 10 cloves of raw garlic every day. Not surprisingly, she lived to be 102

If I don’t take this hard class, then I won’t do well on the ACT. If I don’t do well on the ACT, then no college. If there's, then I’ll live in my parents' basement forever.

My cousin Bob works as a mechanic at Oil Changers and he says that renewable energy sources, such as solar and wind power, aren’t going to provide any help in fixing our nation’s energy crisis

My opponent raises a good point, but can we really trust him? I mean, he moved to this town only two years ago and everyone knows that his wife left him